


Crazy 'Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man

by leiascully



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode Related, Fluff, M/M, Shopping, Suit Porn, Wedding Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 23:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19283821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully
Summary: Victor and Yuuri go shopping for a suit for Yuuri's belated birthday (because everybody has to write a Barcelona fic, right?).





	Crazy 'Bout A Sharp-Dressed Man

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Episode 10  
> A/N: Hat tip to ZZ Top for the title, but while I was writing it, I was really thinking more of "Take It Like A Man" from _Legally Blonde: The Musical_. Can you have non-sexual, T-rated erotica? That's what t his wanted to be.  
> Disclaimer: No profit is made from this work and no infringement is intended.

Suit shopping with Victor was the kind of experience that Yuuri wished he'd had before he started skating Eros. It would have been easier to have that to think of instead of the crisp-soft contrasts of katsudon. 

"It's a shame, really," Victor said, looking at his phone as he dragged Yuuri and their bags through the streets of Barcelona. "We don't have the time to go to a really fine tailor. But I think this place will do."

This place was a suit shop that had the muffled hush of lots of money. Walking in the door was like stepping into another world. The carpet was plush, wine red, and the polished racks held suits in more variations than Yuuri had dreamed of. "Hola," said an attendant, taking Yuuri's bags. He only wrestled against it for a second before Victor put a hand on his shoulder and he relaxed. The attendant took their coats and hung them on a hook. 

"We need a suit!" Victor declared with his usual cheery disregard for regional languages. Somehow he got by with Russian, English, French, and a smattering of various Romance languages that was mostly restaurant words and phrases that made even Christophe blush. 

"Very good, sir," said a man with a tape measure around his neck, gliding up silently. He sized Victor with his eyes. "For you, sir?"

"No, no," Victor said, pulling Yuuri closer. "For my companion here."

"Hi." Yuuri waved weakly. He was a little relieved and a little disappointed. "Companion" could mean a lot of things. At least Victor hadn't said "student".

"Hmm," said the tape measure man. "Wool? Linen? We only carry the finest materials. We have no polyester here."

"Wool this time," Victor said. "Linen would be a little out of season."

"Of course," said the tape measure man, and they grinned at each other as if they'd shared a joke. "Right this way, please." He ushered Yuuri up onto a small platform in a little room that seemed to be mostly mirrors. "If I may?" He didn't wait for a response before he had his tape measure out and was jotting down all kinds of numbers, more measurements than Yuuri had ever really paid attention to having, even when he was getting costumes made. He glanced at Victor and Victor nodded reassuringly. 

"I'll be back very soon," said the tape measure man, and vanished into the main room, leaving Yuuri on the platform.

Victor picked up a ring of cloth samples from a nearby table and drew them through his fingers with a rapt expression on his face.

"I didn't know you liked wool that much," Yuuri joked. 

"Oh, these are for another day when we have time to choose," Victor said, "but Yuuri, feel." He took Yuuri's hand in his, palm down, and stroked the cloth samples one by one over the back of Yuuri's hand. "Feel the warmth of the wool, the smoothness of the silk. Feel how the texture of the cloth changes as the amount of each material shifts." He gazed into Yuuri's eyes. "Can you feel it?"

"Yes," Yuuri said, his mouth dry. His skin tingled as Victor caressed him with the little squares of cloth. He was looking down at Victor, an unusual angle. Victor wasn't any less handsome from above. There was a certain appeal in the way he looked up at Yuuri through the fall of his hair. The platform felt a little bit like a podium. Yuuri felt a little bit like he'd won something, but he couldn't say what.

"Now the shirt materials," Victor said, flipping to the lighter samples. "The cotton, the linen. Feel how satiny it's become. Imagine wearing a shirt made of this, how crisp it would be against your skin."

"Oh," Yuuri said as the fabric slid over his skin. He could feel the warmth of Victor's fingertips through it, and the warmth of Victor's palm cupped beneath his own. "Yes, it would be nice."

"One day I'll take you to St. Petersburg," Victor said. "We can have dinner on the river. They have boats with restaurants and you can see all the houses lit up and shining. A shirt like that would be nice to wear to dinner on a boat."

"It sounds lovely," Yuuri said quietly. 

The tape measure man came back with an armful of shirts, jackets, and trousers. He hung them up on a rack next to the platform and bowed slightly to Victor. "Let me know when you're ready."

"We will," Victor said.

The tape measure man nodded and left again, closing a door behind him that Yuuri hadn't noticed before.

"Well?" Victor said. "Take off your clothes."

"Right now?" Yuuri said. "Right here?"

"It might be difficult to try on the suits if you don't," Victor said. "You did remember underwear today, didn't you?" He winked.

"Yes!" Yuuri said, trying not to blush. Victor reached up and grabbed the front of his t-shirt and gently pulled him forward. 

"Then what are you waiting for?" he asked. He stretched to take off Yuuri's glasses, laying them carefully aside with the fabric samples. "Do you want me to undress you?"

"Uh, no?" Yuuri said, hastily stripping off his shirt and less hastily kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his pants. Victor draped his clothes over a chair in the corner of the room. Yuuri tried not to fidget, standing in his socks and underwear while Victor's eyes dragged over him like silk. 

"Which one of these would you like to try?" Victor asked, passing his hands over the suits.

"Couldn't I have made that decision clothed?" Yuuri asked. He was trying and only failing a little to keep his voice level and steady.

"This is quicker," Victor said. "Besides, I like to see how strong your body has become. It's a beautiful reminder of our journey together. You've worked hard. Do you not feel good about your body?"

"That's not exactly it," Yuuri said. 

"Are you embarrassed that I should see you this way?" Victor asked. "After all the time we've spent together in the baths at the onsen?"

"That feels different," Yuuri said, looking down at his feet. He wiggled his toes inside their socks. "At least then, we're both naked."

"Hmm," Victor said. "I don't think it will do any good for me to take my clothes off, but I could hug you, if you're cold. Maybe I should go get my coat and put it around both of us. Your back might still be chilly, but your front would be warm."

"That's not exactly it either," Yuuri said, carefully not looking at Victor. "Look, let's just choose some clothes that I can put on."

"Feel this," Victor said, holding out the sleeve of a shirt. The material was thick and cool and soft between Yuuri's fingertips. 

"Nice," he said.

"Put it on," Victor said, taking the shirt off the hanger and holding it up. Yuuri slipped his arms into it, The fabric felt luxurious against his skin, sleek and elegant, as if the way that Victor looked and carried himself could be woven into something he could wear. Yuuri shivered a little as he shrugged it on and started to button it up.

"Ah," Victor said approvingly. "That's pleasure."

"A shirt?" Yuuri said.

"That shiver," Victor said. "Chris would call it a frisson. It feels so good, you can't help yourself. That's something I always hoped you would discover in Eros."

"I guess food just doesn't have quite the same effect," Yuuri said, turning to look in one of the mirrors, but Victor caught him, stepping up on the platform to put an arm around Yuuri's waist and turn him away.

"Not yet," he breathed into Yuuri's ear. "I want you to have the full picture."

Yuuri swallowed. "What's next?" he asked. Victor's hair brushed against his cheek.

"What do you want?" Victor asked in a low voice. "Touch them, like when you went through my costumes. Find the one that feels right." He took Yuuri's hand and they reached out together to feel the fabric of the suits. Yuuri ran his hands over them. They felt like money and success.

"This one," he said decisively. It felt a little smoother, a little lighter than the others. He was done with things that weighed him down. 

"Good," Victor said in an approving tone. He unclipped the pants from the hanger and held them out. Yuuri took them and put them on. They were too long, but he imagined a place like this could fix that. The fabric was as light as he'd thought it would be, but it was immediately warm against his skin. The jacket, lined with something even silkier than the shirt, was cool at first, and then comfortable. The lining glided easily over the fabric of the shirt as Yuuri shifted. Victor smoothed his palms over Yuuri's shoulders and down his arms and stepped around Yuuri, touching here and there with just his fingertips like he was trying to sense something, tugging at some other places. He tucked the shirt into the pants, his fingers dipping into Yuuri's waistband. Yuuri just put his arms up and let Victor pull him close. He was feeling another frisson, his body inches from Victor's. The fine wool of Victor's sweater brushed against Yuuri's chest as Victor finished tucking the shirt into the back of Yuuri's pants. Yuuri shivered again. 

"Hmm," Victor said playfully. "I think you picked the right suit, if there's so much pleasure in it already."

"What more is there?" Yuuri asked.

"Accessories," Victor said, as if it was obvious, "and then there's always taking it off, hmm?" He winked.

"Oh, yeah," Yuuri said. "Right. Taking it off." He tried not to imagine Victor's graceful fingers undoing all the buttons he'd just done up and failed. 

Victor stepped off the platform and gazed at Yuuri with the same kind of intense expression he had when he was coaching. He put a finger to his lips and frowned gently. Yuuri swallowed. "That bad, huh?" he said, his voice soft in the carpeted room.

"Yuuri, no," Victor said immediately. "When the suit doesn't fit you, you are not the problem. It just needs some adjustment to show you at your finest." He smiled at Yuuri. "I'll be right back. Don't look yet, okay?"

"Okay," Yuuri said. Sometimes everything he said to Victor felt like a promise.

Victor returned with the tape measure man. "It's a start, hmm?" he said, walking up to Yuuri, "but we can make some changes." His hand grazed the inside of Yuuri's thigh, not quite close enough to make Yuuri jump, but close enough to make him blush. "Here, it's not as flattering as it could be. We can bring in the leg a bit too. This man is a world-class athlete and the whole world is going to see him. They need to see him look his very best. This suit should show how strong he is, how graceful, how poised, with just a glance."

The tape measure man nodded. "I think perhaps we could taper the jacket as well," he suggested. "It would define his waist."

"Yes, exactly," Victor said, nodding. "Now you're getting it." It might have sounded like an insult from someone else, but there was that sunny smile that melted away offense. The tape measure man smiled back. 

"Let me get my things," he said, bustling around the little room and pushing a stool over with his foot. Soon there were pins everywhere. Yuuri tried to stand very still. At least he was used to this part, and the fabric of the suit was thicker than most of his costumes and less likely to slip and prickle. Victor stood by, watching the whole process and making suggestions. The tape measure man grunted with his mouth full of pins. 

"Okay," Victor said at last, clapping his hands. He picked up Yuuri's glasses and handed them up. "You can look." He beamed at Yuuri. Yuuri slipped on his glasses and turned very slowly, trying not to get jabbed by pins, and saw a stranger in the mirror. A cool, confident, elegant stranger in a sleek black suit, the collar of his white shirt standing crisp above the lapels, the whole outfit embodying the kind of effortless charm he'd always admired and never managed. He squinted. The stranger squinted back. 

"Yes," said Victor happily. "It's you, Yuuri. Now you can see yourself as I see you. Now the whole world can see the man I see." He turned to the tape measure man. "Of course we'll need a belt and a handkerchief and some ties to go with it."

The tape measure man pushed himself up off his stool. "Very good, sir. I'll have them bring in some options."

"Some" turned out to be what looked like half the store. Victor didn't like the first belt. He braced his hip against Yuuri's for leverage as he pulled it from the belt loops. The end whipped out as he tugged, grazing Yuuri's stomach. Yuuri gasped.

"Sorry," Victor said with a rueful smile. "I'll be more gentle next time."

"What was wrong with that belt?" Yuuri asked to distract himself from the feel of Victor's body pressed against his and the sunshine warmth of having Victor's attention focused entirely on him. The fabric of the shirt and suit felt even more luxurious when it was the last layer between him and Victor, and somehow Victor managed to avoid every pin.

Victor shook his head. "It must be an ensemble. Every element needs to work together just like a skating program. Trust me. It wasn't right." He eyed the pile of belts critically and chose another one, leaning around Yuuri to thread it through the belt loops. Yuuri arched his back to give Victor room, his chest pressing against Victor's. Victor hummed with satisfaction. He adjusted the buckle, his fingertips slipping over the top of Yuuri's waistband. That was another frisson, Yuuri's hip trembling briefly against Victor's.

"This must be the right belt," Victor said. He grinned. 

"Must be," Yuuri said weakly. At least the handkerchief for the pocket was easy enough to choose without invoking much Eros, but then there were ties. Victor leaned against his back, draping ties over Yuuri's shoulder, his cheek warm against Yuuri's ear. 

"See how this one brings out your eyes," Victor said admiringly, his lips whispering against Yuuri's skin. He wrapped one arm over Yuuri's shoulder and the other around his waist, touching each tie as he mentioned it. Yuuri could feel the heat of Victor's breath against his neck. The way the air stirred his hair and caressed the curve of his ear gave him goosebumps. "And this one - these are the kinds of patterns you should wear. It should be dynamic. People should be surprised and delighted to see you."

"I kind of thought that was a Victor thing," Yuuri said. "I might have managed Eros, but I'll never be you." 

"You are yourself and that's all I care about," Victor said sternly. He looked at Yuuri's reflection in the mirror and his eyes softened. "This is only the beginning, Yuuri. You and I have a bright future in front of us, full of surprise and delight. One of these days, we'll have to get you a tuxedo to go with your birthday suit, maybe something with velvet lapels for very special occasions."

Yuuri burst out laughing despite the delicious distraction of imagining Victor running his hands down velvet lapels. Victor's arms tightened around him and he laughed too. "What are we laughing about?"

Yuuri brought his hands up to clasp Victor's arms. In the mirror, they looked comfortable: two men embracing, their bodies used to each other. "I'm sorry, Victor, but in American English, 'birthday suit' means...well, what we wear in the onsen."

"But we wear nothing in the onsen," Victor said.

"Exactly," Yuuri told him. "Your birthday suit. The clothes you were born in. What Chris would wear all the time if he could get away with it." 

"I see," Victor said. "Sometimes I think I will never understand the Americans, but they can be very clever." He looked back at their reflection and sighed happily, his chest heaving against Yuuri's shoulders. "Every one of these ties is so much better than the one you wore before. Good. Everyone should see how you're flourishing. Perhaps as your coach, my handkerchief should share some of the colors of your tie, or we could wear matching socks. We can coordinate, but in a subtle way. A visual representation of our partnership for everyone to see."

"I'd like that," Yuuri said. Something about the way Victor said the words snagged in his brain, not quite a conscious thought. He let go of the idea, distracted by the strength of Victor's arms around him.

"And you should have a bow tie," Victor decided. "A real one - much more sophisticated." 

"I don't know how to tie one," Yuuri said. "I've only ever had the ones that hook."

"I'll teach you," Victor said, as if everything was that simple. Maybe it was, now. He squeezed his arms around Yuuri briefly and released him. Yuuri shivered as the warm outline of Victor's body faded from the fabric.

"Is it so enjoyable, not to have my arms around you?" Victor teased.

"No," Yuuri said. "I'm actually kind of cold without you next to me." He smiled, a little shyly. All his time with Victor had been contradictions: he was at his most self-conscious around Victor, but also his most self-confident. He'd yearned for Victor for years, and sometimes he thought he'd shatter if Victor touched him, and the next moment, he was throwing his arms around Victor or pulling him close or Victor was kissing his hand and it was so easy and right that it felt like they'd been this close all their lives.

Victor tutted at him. "Be patient, Yuuri. It will only take me a moment to find a bow tie that will bring attention to how handsome and distinguished you are."

"A bow tie can make me handsome and distinguished?" Yuuri said wryly. "Wow, if only I'd known."

"I told you already," Victor said, his hands shifting busily through a selection of ties, "the clothes don't change you. They only show what's already there. My costume didn't make you a temptress. It revealed the temptress already inside you." He brought back three bow ties: one black, one as blue as Victor's eyes, and one a shifting range of pinks and purples shot with gold threads that reminded Yuuri of Victor's costume for Stammi Vicino. Victor draped the pink one around Yuuri's neck without tying it and undid the top few buttons of the shirt. He traced the open vee of Yuuri's chest with one fingertip. Yuuri couldn't help shivering again. 

"Perfect," Victor said softly. "You look like you're ready for some sort of afterparty. Well, almost." He ran his hands through Yuuri's hair, mussing it into a casual mess. Yuuri resisted the urge to melt into the gentle firmness of Victor's fingers, but he could feel his eyes closing with pleasure. "There." 

The Yuuri in the mirror didn't look like he'd never had a lover. The Yuuri in the mirror looked like he might slip one finger through Victor's belt loops and tug him closer and closer until their hips were flush against each other. The Yuuri in the mirror would wrap his fist in the ends of Victor's scarf and draw him down for a thorough kiss without having to think about it at all. The Yuuri in the room blushed. 

"Is this what you see?" Yuuri asked softly. 

"All the time," Victor told him, his eyes shining.

"Wow," Yuuri said. 

"I know," Victor told him. "It's a lot to handle. Honestly, I should get some kind of award for dealing with it so well even though we're in such close proximity all the time." 

"Something more than something round and golden?" Yuuri teased.

"As long as you're offering," Victor joked back. 

Yuuri glanced back at his reflection. "I look so cool."

Victor shrugged cheerfully. "If the suit fits, wear it."

"I don't think that's exactly how the saying goes," Yuuri said. "But I'll do my best."

"Good," Victor said in a soft voice. "I don't tell you often enough how proud I am of you, Yuuri, or how far you've come, but I hope you know."

"Thank you for never giving up on this vision of me," Yuuri said, reaching instinctively for Victor's hands and bringing them to his lips. Victor smiled and cupped his palms around Yuuri's cheeks. There was a light in his eyes Yuuri had seen so often before, a gentle flame that fed a fire inside Yuuri. The quiet of the room wrapped softly around them. It was a perfect moment.

Outside the door, the tape measure man cleared his throat. "Are the gentlemen finished with their selections?" he asked. 

"Yes, we've chosen," Victor said, not drawing away from Yuuri. "We just need to get him out of this suit without sticking him full of pins."

"Very good, sir," said the tape measure man. "I will return in a few minutes."

Taking off the suit was nothing like putting it on, and nothing like Yuuri had imagined. Victor helped him ease off each piece. The jacket was simple enough, and the shirt hadn't needed alteration, but Yuuri had to brace himself on Victor's shoulder to maneuver his legs out of the pinned pants. Victor, on one knee in front of him, looked up and grinned. 

"Now I'm the one making a marriage proposal," he said. 

"If you are, I'd rather not be in my underwear for it," Yuuri joked. "At least let me take off my socks."

"You're very particular about how you're proposed to," Victor said. "Are you sure you don't have any experience?"

"There's only you," Yuuri said, and the truth of it rang in him like a bell. "There's only ever been you." 

"Good," Victor said, offering his hands so that Yuuri could pull him up. "I'm not a jealous man, but there are parts of you I enjoy having all to myself." 

"I suppose I should get dressed," Yuuri said, letting go of Victor's hands reluctantly. 

"If you must," Victor said. 

"I can't walk around like this," Yuuri said. "It's too cold."

"We'll come back in the summer," Victor said, taking Yuuri's glasses again. "We'll bring Makka and go to the beach. How does that sound?"

"It sounds perfect," Yuuri said, pulling on his normal clothes and reaching for his glasses. "Should we bring this out?"

"They'll come get it," Victor said. "We'll take the things we want to buy today." He heaped Yuuri's arms with the belt and ties and dropped the handkerchief on top. Yuuri thought about the price of each item and his brain stalled out. His family's inn did all right, but not this well. He hadn't had a good enough season to earn any sponsorship deals beyond some free equipment. But Victor kept looking for more. "There," he said, adding another handkerchief. "You can never have too many."

"Victor, this is too much," Yuuri said. 

Victor waved him off. "I haven't gotten you anything for your birthday yet. Besides, why shouldn't I spend money on you? As your coach, I'm responsible for taking care of you."

"Is that all," Yuuri muttered. 

Victor turned to him. "Yuuri, you said the theme of your programs this year was love. Do you think you're the only one experiencing those feelings? When I watch you skate your love, I feel it too. Everyone does. Of course I want to buy you gifts. As someone who loves you, I want you to have the best."

"Oh," Yuuri said. "Um, in that case, thank you." He couldn't really focus as Victor opened the door, although he stepped forward automatically. His mind was still processing the things that Victor had said. There was something he couldn't quite grasp about it. He staggered to the register and laid down all of the accessories.

"We'll come back the day after tomorrow," Victor said. "Will it be ready? We have an event in the evening."

"Of course," the tape measure man said. 

There was a display of colognes by the register. Victor picked one up and sniffed it, then dabbed in on his neck. "Yuuri, tell me if this one smells nice," he said, bowing his head. Yuuri dutifully brushed his nose over the space below Victor's earlobe. The scent rose in a waft from Victor's velvety skin: citrus, with something under it that smelled herbal, a little like pipe tobacco. It was a heady combination.

"Mm," Yuuri said involuntarily. 

"I'll take it," Victor said, adding the bottle to the heap of things they already had. "What about this one?" He dabbed it on the other side of his neck and Yuuri put his hand on the back of Victor's head to turn him to the right angle. This time, Victor smelled like lavender and old leather chairs. He breathed patiently into the hollow of Yuuri's shoulder as Yuuri inhaled. Yuuri could stay here forever, maybe, his temple steadied against Victor's jaw, surrounded by the spicy-sweet fragrance of the cologne.

"That one's good too," Yuuri said, a little dazed. He was still trying to understand whatever it was he hadn't been able to comprehend a few minutes earlier. 

"Then I'll take both," Victor said, and paid for it all without batting an eye. The attendants helped them put on their coats and pick up all the bags. 

"Have you seen my nuts?" Yuuri asked, craning his neck to scan his bags.

"What a question," Victor teased. "You'd better make sure you don't say things like that around Chris."

"I need my nuts!" Yuuri insisted, not quite certain why it felt so important, but feeling some force driving him.

After the quiet of the shop, the crowded streets were like a carnival, especially as they retraced their steps looking for the lost bag. Yuuri felt like he was spinning in the air, like he'd launched himself into an entirely new jump. His mind whirled as he scoured their path for his bag. 

"You're going to look so handsome," Victor said happily. "I think it will look especially good if you pair it with a statement necklace, like maybe a gold medal? It's just something I was thinking of."

The nuts weren't on the bench, the last place Yuuri thought they could be. His mind was still reeling. _Someone who loves you. A marriage proposal. A visual representation of their partnership. Something round and golden, different from what Victor had gotten for the last five birthdays._ These thoughts spun him around and around, faster and faster, until suddenly, he landed, perfectly balanced.

Victor. Someone who loved him. Someone who deserved to be shown exactly what he meant to Yuuri. Something round and golden. Something for the kind of luck they'd built together and the promises they'd made to each other. A gift worthy of someone born on Christmas, who was himself the greatest gift Yuuri had ever been offered. A gift for a man with a heart as pure as snow.

He caught a glimpse of gold in the window of a shop and bells rang in his heart. _Yes_ , he thought, and it felt more right than the first time he'd stepped on the ice, the first time he'd skated Eros the way it deserved to be skated. Nothing had ever felt so natural.

It took only a few minutes for the jeweler to etch the rings, two perfectly symmetrical half-snowflakes that fit together when the rings were put in their box. The price didn't matter; he would pay it no matter how long it took. What he and Victor had created together wasn't temporary. They would have the rest of their lives to redeem their debts to each other. 

In front of the cathedral, there were carolers singing, some sort of lullaby. Ironically, Yuuri had never felt so calm. He stood at the fence and slipped the gold ring onto Victor's right hand. Victor gazed at it as if he were transfixed. He lifted Yuuri's hand and slid the matching ring on, a perfect circle that fit like it had always been there. The cathedral glowed gold in the candlelight. Above them, bells rang, chiming out the same joy that soared in Yuuri's soul. 

"I think this is the only accessory I need for the rest of my life," Victor said slowly as they walked to the restaurant, arms slung around each other. The ring glinted as he admired it.

"You don't want a medal?" Yuuri teased.

"I wouldn't go that far," Victor said. "But you know, I think it will go with every outfit."

"Even your birthday suit," Yuuri said. 

Victor laughed.

"Even that," he said, and kissed the side of Yuuri's head.


End file.
